balefire

a large fire in the open air; bonfire

a signal fire; beacon

the fire of a funeral pile

Hey there.

You’ve found your way here for a reason. Something in your life is shifting. You’re contemplating what it means to care for others—and for yourself—in the face of mortality. That’s where I come in.

I am your Mortality Companion, a guide through the landscapes of caregiving, legacy, and end-of-life contemplation. These are not unfamiliar paths to me. I have walked them many times, lighting the way for those who need steady footing. You don’t have to navigate this alone.

How I Can Support You

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Complete your To-Die List – A workshop or private session designed to help you organize what truly matters. Send me an email to schedule.
Stay InformedSubscribe to my newsletter for insights on caregiving, self-preservation, and end-of-life planning.
Make an Appointment – I am currently focusing on supporting caregivers in managing their self care and being a good support for their loved ones and conducting mid-life values reviews with millennials.

A Light on the Path

The Tibetan name given to me during my refuge ceremony is Dechen Chodron—loosely translated as "blissful lamp on the path of dharma." Nearly a decade later, this name still guides my purpose: to stand as a steady presence in the often-overlooked space between living and dying.

This work is not about fear. It’s about clarity, intention, and the quiet knowing that when the time comes—whether for yourself or someone you love—you will be prepared.

I don’t claim to have all the answers, but I know these woods of mortality well. If we come across a path that is unfamiliar, I will walk it with you. Together, we can face anything.

Welcome. You are exactly where you need to be.

Continuing Education

  • From The School of American Thanatology. Completed Summer 2022

    See my certificate here.

    Educating the public on aspects of death, dying, grief, loss and healing is vital. Writing with compassion and clarity can overcome the public’s fear and negative presumptions about deathwork. This 7-week writing course focused on ways students can engage and educate the public through 12 different options: local news articles, feature pieces, opinion pieces, press releases, book reviews, public speaking, blog posts, website updates, interviews, columns, speeches and essays. Taught by journalist, syndicated columnist, and author Suzette Martinez Standring, students will learn from someone who’s done it before.

    (Adapted from school.AmericanThanatology.com)

    This course got me back into writing and got me excited to create and serve by educating in this way in the future.

  • Completed this course from ReDesigning The End on 11 August 2022.

    This presentation and collection of essays was thought provoking and informative — in many places, families don’t have the rights they think they do for after-death care of their kin. This has me interested in becoming more of an activist for families’ and loved ones’ rights after death. It’s a shame that so much of this sacred time has become focused on profit and legislation.

    See my certificate by clicking here.

  • Attended 18 June 2022.

    This was a collaborative thought workshop where attendees were informed about specific issues regarding the intersection of disability and deathcare and then prompted to innovate and brainstorm together how to make deathcare more accessible. Attendees shared experiences, wisdom, and advice, and many left the workshop feeling more informed and newly passionate about justice and accessible care activism for the disabled community.

    One of the most striking things I remember from this workshop is that someone introduced themselves as name, location, job/industry, communication needs and then… not yet disabled. That was… so simple, so clear, and so eye opening for me. In an instant anyone can become a member of the disabled community. That society as a matter of fact sets aside justice and accessibility for the disabled is to be completely overcome with ableism, getting in the way of proper care.

  • Attended 15 June 2022.

    I really enjoyed this conversation with fellow deathcare workers about fighting consumerism, materialism, and the pressure to perform in our work. This scratched my itch to talk about mutual aid with others in deathcare and spurred me to formally offer my services for trade or sliding scale for greater accessibility and acknowledgement of hardship.

  • Attended 12 September 2021.

    Hosted by Atlanta-based death midwife Elizabeth Bazen, this conversation was a gentle unfolding of a familiar experience in a new light. Attendees were guided through the stages of what some consider depressive episodes. In doing so, we discussed together what kinds of things to be aware of when an episode arises, preparing yourself and loved ones to ride the wave of your emotions safely. We discussed settling into and leaning into the experience with your head down, persistent, in order to get through a depressive episode. We also went over how we might process the experience in a healthy way, whether that’s as new wisdom, new motivation, new perspective, a lighter load, or any number of things.

    When contemplating mortality and the scope of our lives, we can tend to gloss over, speed through, or try to forget any times that have been particularly difficult or lonely. I have had the unique experience of transformation through these kinds of episodes through my life. I am always looking for education to better support myself in tough times as well as support others in uplifting and honest ways without making this natural ebb and flow of emotion wrong.

  • Completed August 2020.

    TOPICS COVERED:

    The end-of-life doula model of care

    Deep active listening

    Common issues in facing death

    Meaning and legacy work

    Vigil planning

    Guided imagery

    Signs and symptoms of dying

    Rituals and ceremonies

    Reprocessing the dying journey

    Early grief work

    Self-care for doulas

    Next steps to serving as an end-of-life doula

  • This teaching with Khentrul Lodro Thaye Rinpoche took place virtually on Saturday and Sunday May 2-3, 2020.

    We examined and outlined wisdom of the Four Noble Truths in order to develop greater faith in our logic and philosophies. Great certainty of mind is helpful along the journey of life and the path of dharma.

  • This teaching with Khentrul Lodro Thaye Rinpoche took place on Saturday and Sunday June 1-2, 2018.

    A masterclass on the practical techniques of setting the mind and body toward accomplishing meditative equipoise.

  • This ceremony took place with Khentrul Lodro Thaye Rinpoche on Saturday and Sunday March 24-25, 2018.

  • This teaching with Khentrul Lodro Thaye Rinpoche took place on Saturday and Sunday December 9-10, 2017.

    In this teaching we expanded on what was covered in Part One. We learned that the remedies for anger, attachment or desire, and ignorance can be found in dharma practice.

  • This teaching with Lama Chonam took place on Saturday and Sunday November 4-5, 2017.

    In this teaching we examined the text The Four Types of Fixation by Sakya Kunga Gyaltsen as received directly from Manjushri with commentary by Gorampa Sonam Senge.

    This teaching went deep into this topic of the four fixations and we learned the true implications of clinging, fixation, and grasping. We then learned the antidote to each type of fixation.

  • This teaching with Khentrul Lodro Thaye Rinpoche took place on Saturday and Sunday January 28-29, 2017.

    We examined the text called: Transforming Suffering and Happiness by Dodrupchen Jigme Tenpe Nyima.

    We learned how to use suffering as the path to enlightenment, about dropping the attitude of being entirely unwilling to suffer, cultivating the attitude of being joyful when suffering arises, and generally befriending suffering, as it is the nature of existence.

  • This teaching with Khentrul Lodro Thaye Rinpoche took place on Saturday and Sunday September 10-11, 2016.

    In this teaching, we examined The Wheel of Analytical Meditation That Thoroughly Purifies Mental Activity by Mipham Rinpoche.

    This text can be divided into three sections: how to meditate, measure of progress, and significance of practice. This teaching was essentially a master class in insight meditation.

  • This ceremony took place in July 2016 with Khentrul Lodro Thaye Rinpoche.

  • This workshop with Paloma Lopez-Landry took place on Saturday and Sunday July 9-10, 2016.

    This workshop was for practitioners who planned on participating in an upcoming seven-month online course examining The Seven Key Points of Mind Training. In particular, Paloma gave us acronyms and other study tips to help us remember key concepts throughout the online course.

    I then completed the online course with readings, audio recordings, instructions for contemplation, meditation, and compassion in action, and challenges to complete and expand our understanding of the text.

  • This teaching with Khentrul Lodro Thaye Rinpoche took place on Saturday and Sunday March 5-6, 2016.

    This was an interesting teaching for me, as the weekly dharma practice group often carried out this practice and I had greatly connected with the material.

    One of the main takeaways of this practice is that in order to embody genuine compassion, we must also train our minds in remembering the true nature of reality. When we understand the true nature of reality, it is impossible to act in a way that is void of compassion. We spent a lot of time philosophizing about the Tibetan Buddhist conclusions about the nature of reality. This was a very important teaching for me.

  • This teaching with Tulku Rigsang took place on Saturday and Sunday April 11-12, 2015.

    This teaching was about what it means to turn our minds toward the benefit of others.

    We went practice by practice through this guide of qualities to be embodied by people who devote themselves to the benefit of others.

  • This teaching with Tulku Rigsang took place Saturday and Sunday June 7-8, 2014.

    In this teaching, we learned about abandoning anger, cultivating patience, and being respectful. I learned about several different kinds of patience including patience of making light of what causes harm, patience of accepting suffering, and patience of certainty,

    I learned that when someone harms us, they are showing that in that moment they lack free will - they are at the whim of their overwhelming and disturbing emotions.

    I learned that when anger arises, it is a tool to show us what needs to be addressed; it shows us where there is injustice and where we have felt unacknowledged.

    Lastly, I learned about respect for beings. Cultivating patience and respect for beings means we will have less regrets when it is our time to die.

  • From Landmark Education. Completed October 13, 14, 18, 2012.

    In this course, participants learned how to:

    Communicate with a new level of impact, effectiveness, and peace of mind.

    Experience being heard and hearing others in a way that each is truly known to the other.

    Create new futures in relationships, families, jobs, and communities.

    Gain structures and tools to replace old patterns with new practices of listening and speaking.

    (from LandmarkWorldwide.com)

  • From Landmark Education. Completed July 21, 22, 26, 2012.

    In this course, participants were able to:

    Discover a new way of listening that allows one to communicate effectively in any conversation, with freedom and peace of mind regardless of the conversation’s context.

    Experience a dramatically increased level of effectiveness in situations which may have previously been ineffective.

    Gain an ability to consistently have conversations be generative and possibility-based versus reaction-based.

    Experience what it takes to invite others to participate in new possibilities.

    Create and/or restore harmony and affinity, at any time, under any circumstance.

    Discover a new access in being free to fully be genuine in communication with people from all walks of life.

    (adapted from LandmarkWorldwide.com)

  • Completed December 17, 18, 19, 21, 2010.

    In this course, participants were able to:

    Develop a facility for recognizing things as they really are — distinct from hopes, preferences, and fears.

    Step outside familiar and habitual ways of thinking to invent whole new perspectives and approaches that lead to new ways of being and acting.

    Design a future from the future, not limited by the past.

    Move the notion of possibility from an abstract idea to a day-to-day living reality.

    Rather than being limited by who you’ve considered yourself to be, opportunities for being and acting will powerfully show themselves. With this clarity comes a new power and freedom giving participants hands-on access to a world that’s open to being invented.

    (from LandmarkWorldwide.com)

    I still use techniques learned in this class to set my perspective and plan goal achievement.

  • Completed June 5, 6, 7, 9, 2009.

    Through engaging in tested an proven ideas and methodologies, participants discover blind spots to their effectiveness, performance, and overall satisfaction in life. From that awareness comes a fundamental shift that leaves people fulfilling those matter that are most important to them. Participants find themselves with an expanded quality of life, and able to think and act beyond existing views and limits — in their personal lives, their work and professions, their relationships, and other areas of interests.