Pick Your Death Team: Fighter Edition

Gather ‘round, everyone, and listen up. Every adventurer must one day face death. Assembling the proper team to accompany you on your journey is of utmost importance.

One major battle many fight in the face of death is the fight to die where we want. According to a palliative care study at Stanford University, “80% of Americans would prefer to die at home, if possible. Despite this, 60% of Americans die in acute care hospitals, 20% in nursing homes, and only 20% at home.”

What makes a good Death Team fighter? Monica won this battle and honors us by sharing her story. May we all be grateful and heed her advice.

Meet: Monica Bihm

Class & Level: Fighter 10

Background: Mother of Queens, Hell Raiser

Alignment: Chaotic Good

Laughs in the face of danger. Fierce enforcer of justice. Doesn’t take “no” for an answer.

Monica, set the scene for us. What was life like before this battle?

Life was normal at the time. Life was good. It was the middle of summer and everybody was having a grand old time.

You met with death when your mother died, which you’ve shared was a peaceful experience for you.

Tell us what happened in this battle and how you made it out.

My uncle was not sick before this.

Three weeks after my birthday party that summer, he called and said, “Can you bring me to the hospital? Something’s wrong.” From that phone call until the end of his funeral was 33 days.

So, here’s what happened.

He knew he was dying. In that ward of [the hospital] you could hear people getting their last rites through the walls, or family members crying, their loved ones dying at all hours of the night, or them saying the rosary at 1 AM. We knew what they were doing. I would have to try to trick him to not hear it. The environment was just horrible. Even though we all knew he had no hope, hearing it was just sad. It was horribly sad. That’s when I demanded in a very dramatic way that he’d be home with me.

I made the decision on Saturday. They tried to make me wait until Monday.

What was the reason for making you wait?

Because it was Monday, you know, it was a weekend. In all honesty, nobody gave a $#!+ enough to deal with it on the weekend, to call people in from their weekend.

Monica’s Battle Attack:

• I lost my $#!+ in the hall.

• I sat on the ground, in the middle of the hall, screaming that I would not shut up until they got my uncle to my house.

• BE NOT AFRAID: They said, “You’re gonna get kicked out” and somebody even threatened to have me arrested.

• They ended up getting my uncle home the same day because of the show.
  

How has your perspective changed after this hard-won battle?

I think hospitals should be in charge of healing someone. But in the end, when it’s someone dying, they need to step back.

Maybe everybody’s not cut out to do what I did. But once you’re in it, it’s like a roller coaster, you can’t stop until it pulls in.

—

We would all be so lucky to have a Fighter like Monica on our team.

Fighter Monica had some great wisdom to share with us today about persistence, standing up (or sitting down) for what’s right, and fierce love and protection. Are you the person in your death party who is willing to scream in the middle of a hospital death ward to get your loved one brought home?

If not, it’s time to find your fighter.

Building a death team is essential in preparation for being fully present in the adventure of life. How can you confidently go forth without knowing you’ve got people you can depend on to bolster any vulnerabilities?

As your Mortality Companion, I must urge you to consult with your team as soon as possible to secure your Fighter.