Take a minute to make contact.

Your mission today: call or text or message someone who has impacted your life positively and ask what they're up to, especially if you're out of touch. What would you say to them, what would you want them to know if you knew you'd die soon?

I don’t think I’ve personally experienced the sudden death of someone when I was in the middle of a fight with or anything, but I’ve definitely experienced what it feels like to have things left unsaid between myself and someone who has passed away. There are several people in my life, who have died, who made a great impression on me, who I wish I kept more in touch with, who I wish I had taken the time to share my honest feelings of admiration and gratitude for.

One person in particular was this guy named Ric.

He was a high school friend of my mom, living near Dallas with his family. My mom and he were friendly but didn’t stay too much in touch. That is, until they could passively like and comment in each others’ directions on Facebook. When I had a weekend self-development workshop in Dallas, I asked around who of my friends I could stay with instead of getting a hotel. My mom asked around, too, and Ric volunteered as they had plenty of space.

I drove out there and was welcomed warmly. The year was nearing Christmas and so their tree was up, and their front music room had been converted into a winter wonderland with a candlelit Christmas village complete with a looping model train. It was magical.

We spent some great time getting to know each other and he shared his favorite martini with me — which I’m now realizing is the influence on my own favorite martini, and even have it tattooed on my leg: it’s a Bombay Sapphire martini - a drop of dry vermouth swirled around the chilled glass and thrown out, the gin stirred vigorously with ice, and topped with a fresh lemon zest. Again, it’s magical.

We sipped martinis and he introduced me to my now favorite Christmas movie, The Family Stone. It’s an ensemble cast film, based on a play, that beautifully examines a complicated family and what it means to really care for others and choose to love and embrace ourselves and others, flaws and all. And ya know, I’m realizing after typing these things out how much MORE of an impact Ric had on me than I even previously thought.

You see, he was just… so.. genuine.

We became friends on Facebook leading up to my visit and he understood some of my interests enough to make me a special playlist, a CD of songs to listen to on my road trip back home. And let me tell you— that CD is flawless and so full of joy. I still keep it in my car for road trips, over a decade later.

Long story short, we had a great time and stayed in touch a little but I was still in college and he had a life, too, and we just went our separate ways. A familiar story of chance friends.

Then one day, Ric suddenly died of an aneurysm.

I wasn’t close enough with his family or anyone else in his life to warrant a six hour one-way drive for a three hour event. No one really knew how great our little friendship was and we never got a chance to expand on it. And sometimes that’s how it happens.

I panicked. I cried. I was enraged. I was full of regret. I was lost. I was confused.

I sent flowers. And cried and cried and cried.

His family was so lucky to have him. We all were.

And I wish I had given myself the opportunity to really share that sentiment with him and his family before he died.

So. Don’t make the same mistake I did. Tell people that you care, that you appreciate them.

I get it, sometimes we don’t know the impact someone leaves on us until we can look back. I don’t fault you for that. But be aware of the positive influences in your life and try to express your gratitude, your admiration, your wonder, and your awe with those people and opportunities. Trust me on this one.

Here’s a Spotify playlist of the tracks on the CD he made me. Enjoy :)